Honor Your Parents

This week, we read through Ephesians 6. I can almost guarantee that you’ve seen a coffee
mug, Instagram post, or letterman jacket sporting a verse from this chapter of the book.
Alongside John 3:16 and Philippians 4:13, Ephesians 6’s “Armor of God” subsection is probably one of the most commonly cited passages in all of the Bible. Instead of covering that portion of Ephesians 6, however, I’d like to take a look at one of the preceding sections in an effort to understand how it might apply to our modern context.

Ephesians 6:1-4, subtitled “Children and Parents” in the ESV translation, is not found on
quite as many souvenirs as later verses. Now there’s probably a good reason for that. The
“Armor of God” passage is intentionally meant to remind a believer to fortify themself against
adversity. It makes perfect sense that objects with that verse inscribed would be popular.
However, Ephesians 6:1-4 is intentionally reminding us of something too. In fact, the passage
reminds us of the fifth commandment: to honor your mother and father. I think this
commandment is often one that features heavily in one’s childhood before ultimately
disappearing later in life. Why is that? Culture is probably to blame. It’s no surprise that ancient
cultures were generally more family-focused, as the family was the primary social, economic, and identity-defining unit during that time. It was incredibly common for multiple generations of a family to live under the same roof, often led by senior males like the Roman paterfamilias.

Children were expected to remain obedient to the wishes of their parents well into adulthood.
While some of these aspects have carried into our modern culture, American individualism and economic pressures have ultimately resulted in a greater focus on personal agency rather than appeasing one’s parents. So how do we square this passage? The text instructs us to “obey [our] parents in the Lord, for this is right” before Paul quotes the fifth commandment. I’d argue one can still follow this commandment within the context of modern culture. Although the expectation in the days of Paul might have been to obey one’s parents to the letter, Jesus also says in Matthew 12:50 that (in Christ) one’s family is the broader family of believers not
necessarily your biological family. The more important distinction—also found in Matthew
12:50—is that those who you honor are the ones who do “the will of [Jesus’s] Father in heaven.”

Essentially, freedom in Christ encourages us to identify as followers of Christ rather than
just a “Smith”, “Juárez”, “Chan”, or “Washington”. However, we are still called to honor our
parents, even if the meaning behind that word has shifted a bit culturally. Within our context, I’d argue it’s closer to how we think of respect. Treating one’s parents with kindness and understanding, even if they aren’t fellow believers, is important. You are not bound to the whims of your family in the same way many ancient pre-Christians were, but Christian character invariably includes respect for one’s parents and for all.

These articles follow our church-wide reading plan. Read with us!